Sitting in a Panera bread this past Memorial Day weekend I couldn’t help but wonder to my friend,

“Seriously, people are still wearing Gauchos?”

I felt a tinge of guilt after I said it, and couldn’t help feeling a little witchy.  After all we were just sipping frozen lemonades casually at Panera, it wasn’t like we were on the runway at Bryant Park.  My friend quelled my guilt as she agreed, “Yeah, I was just going to say the same thing”

There were a handful of people sporting the butt-clinging abominations that day.  I was in the middle of my college career when someone (J.Lo?) decided to bring the 70’s style pant back into rotation.  I remember my sorority sisters rocking them like they were the new legging.  People were dressing them up and going down town for a night out, or wearing them with flip flops as they rushed to class.  I didn’t care where people were wearing them because the fact remains they are not, and never have been, flattering.  I bought a pair for the sake of conforming and it was a poor decision.  I sent them off to the goodwill mere weeks after owning them.

Listen Ladies, it might pain you to get rid of clothes, it’s not easy for me either, but I am BEGGING you, lay the Gauchos to rest.  Yes.  I realize they are comfortable.  But so was flannel.  And parachute pants. We’ve wised up against those silly trends (Please tell me you’ve wised up against those silly trends) and it’s time to nix this one. It was a big mistake in 1976, 2005, and if you’re still wearing them today you have no one to blame but yourself.  You’ve been informed, and I will take no pity and feel no guilt when I chuckle about your pants over lunch.