If this is, as the song says, “the most wonderful time of the year,” why do so many people look so miserable at the mall and the grocery store and the Christmas tree lot?

They’ve got frustration and anxiety written all over their faces and, in some cases, even their posture.

Finding enough money for gifts, making time for shopping and events, and wanting to re-create childhood Christmases are among the most often cited stressors, research shows. And women, especially, say they have a tendency to deal with the strain by drinking and eating a little more, and sleeping a lot less.

We can’t make the holiday pressure go away, but we do have a suggestion: During this season of giving, do a little taking. Take back the happiness of the holidays with these stress-busting tips.

Take a breath: It sounds too simple to really work, but nearly every self-help book and relaxation expert out there suggests breathing exercises to fight stress. Close your eyes and focus on breathing deeply and quietly for a few minutes. If you have time, strike a yoga pose, play some soft music and burn some incense.

Take it outside: Grab your laptop and coffee cup, and work on the rooftop or a balcony of your building. Eat your lunch out on the lawn. Walk to the post office or just to your own mailbox. For at least five minutes, enjoy the blue sky and the warm sunshine; your mood is bound to improve.

Take control: Organizing all the little details of your life takes some time, but in the long run it will reduce your stress. Get your calendar in order so you can track family events. Plan ahead. Make up menus and to-do and shopping lists, and keep them in one place. Let’s face it: The only surprises you want this time of year are under the tree.

Take a lunch: And breakfast and dinner. Don’t skip meals just because you’re busy or because you ate too many sugar cookies the night before. You’ll need your strength to fight off future binges!

Take away one thing: Choose something you’ve been putting off (writing in your holiday cards, shopping for your dad, buying new sheets for the guest room), and just do it. Stop fretting about it and do it right now. You’ll be amazed at how taking just one nagging item off your mental to-do list can energize you.

Take your time: There are so many things to accomplish in the next few weeks, you’re bound to start moving faster, eating faster, even talking faster. Slow down! Chew your food. Think before you speak. And take time to smell the poinsettias. (OK, poinsettias don’t really smell that great. But you get the idea.)

Take a hike (or a jog, or a bike ride): Exercise is a great stress buster – and it can help you burn off some of the extra calories you’re sure to take in this time of year, which will, in turn, take away some of your guilt! Aerobic exercise is best for stress, so do whatever gets your heart pumping: some yard work, a half-hour on the treadmill or, instead of watching “Dancing with the Stars,” try dancing under the stars.

Take a day off: Everybody tries to take off days during Christmas week, but if you can take some time during the week before, you can get tons more done – and do a little relaxing, too. Then, when your out-of-town guests start showing up, you’ll be breathing easier and you can actually enjoy having them around.

Take a load off: We all want to be givers, but we definitely don’t want to come out of the holidays looking like Santa does. Buy yourself a gift: a good scale. Studies show that if you weigh yourself often, the pounds won’t creep up on you. Tell all your “enablers” that your not taking thirds doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Don’t chat hovering around the buffet table; take reasonable portions and move away.

Take a joke: The endorphins released when you laugh (or cry) are known as anti-stress hormones. Laughter also helps increase oxygen in your blood, stimulating circulation, and a good belly laugh can help strengthen your abdominal muscles. Researchers believe that laughter can even stimulate the immune system to better fight off disease. Pop in your “Elf” DVD and enjoy.

Take care of yourself: Get a massage, or make time for a manicure or pedicure (or both!). Nothing beats a professional pampering. If time and your budget make it tough to go to a pro, do it yourself. Try this to relieve tension: With your right hand, tuck your thumb under your fingers and curl your fingers down toward your palm, making a soft fist. Rest your right elbow in your left hand and use your right fist to gently tap on your left shoulder and upper arm. Tap gently, focusing more on the upward movement of your hand than the downward strike, and avoid any prominent bones. Repeat on your other side. Once finished, take a few deep, cleansing breaths, and feel your shoulders relaxed and tingling.

Take a break from tradition: Embrace holiday memories, but don’t cling to them. So what if you can’t cook like your mom or work magic with Christmas lights like your dad did? Start some new traditions this year.

Take the easy way out: Buy all the adults on your list the same simple Christmas gift. Buying everything at one time (wine, coffee or tea, theater tickets so you can all sit together, gift cards) will make shopping easier, and you won’t have to worry about them comparing gifts.

Take this guide, please: We suggest you take out this handy stress-busting guide and keep it someplace easy to find – on your refrigerator, perhaps, or in your purse. Who knows what kind of mayhem might occur the moment you finish reading this?

Sources: http://www.medicinenet.com, http://www.stressdoc.com, http://www.mayoclinic.com, http://www.apa.org (American Psychological Association)

KIM FRANKE-FOLSTAD IS A WRITER WITH MEDIA GENERAL NEWS SERVICE