Today was Sam’s first day back at “fool,” better known to the modern world as preschool, a day I have dreamt of all summer long.  I packed him up with an extra outfit, supplies for the classroom, a healthy-enough snack of something carby, and accomplished the Hurculean task of finding a sippy cup with all of its parts intact that didn’t leak.  Of course I was running late by the time we left the house.  As we zipped along, “Sam announced, “We are going really fast—like a race car!”  Whoops!  And then I dropped him off, and he didn’t get sad at all.  Ahhhh, sweet relief!  (To clarify, the sweet relief applies to both that he wasn’t sad AND dropping him off.)

And then it hit me—now what?  With all of the chaos, I didn’t have any workout clothes with me, stuff to return, Goodwill “junque,” or anything else for that matter.  Plus I was determined not to spend pre-school time this year (or at least that day anyway) out boosting the economy with my usual impulse shopping for bargains, “saving” money.  Yeah, right.  Soooo, after stopping at Starbucks with some of the other newly liberated mommies, I went off to do some shopping that is easiest to rationalize—groceries.  It was a slice of heaven, having the time to browse through the store, trying how to figure out to concoct my own Thai food and actually being coherent enough to buy ingredients so to cook some actual meals this week.  This responsible behavior may not last all year, but at least I accomplished it on Day One.

After I came home to unload the groceries, I didn’t know what the heck to do with myself.  I didn’t want to do anything ordinary or routine that I could do when Sam was home.  So I paced around a little bit.  I hadn’t had the luxury of picking what I wanted to do for so long that it had become daunting.  I just didn’t know anymore, plain and simple.  Usually the chores are right there in front of me staring me in the face.  The laundry yells, “Fold me!”  The dirty dishes scream, “Wash me! ” And those God-forsaken toys scattered like land mines in Angola bellow, “For God’s sake, pick me up and create some order around here!”  For once chores were off-limits because I could technically do them when Sam’s around.  (Who’s kidding who here?)

Finally I plunked myself down in front of my laptop and began to record these bizarre conflicting emotions.  (Did anyone say, “Motherhood?”) And lo and behold, before I knew it, it was time to go pick up my bundle o’ joy.  I’ll admit it, I was excited!  There is no better sight than seeing him scampering out of the building waving at me with a big ole smile on his face. All in all I consider Day One to be a huge success.  Bring on Day Two!

LibbY