Our Adoption Story…the Very, Very Beginning…Being Chosen:

My husband and I have been in the process of adoption.  Two weeks ago we were chosen along with another couple to meet with a pregnant woman.  We met with her twice in person.  She was nothing like we would have thought.  She was not the stereotypes that I had imagined.  I won’t list those types out of embarrassment for myself.  She is an intelligent, kind, educated person…a beautiful person inside and out, a beautiful soul who met with us for three hours each time.  She had a recent visit to the doctor and the reality of her decision hit her hard.  She had planed to meet with us later that next day but she called that very night to move up the appointment to the morning.  She was upset on the phone and had decided she needed to choose the family to raise her son that week.  (Last week) 

We met her and she had over 30 questions ready for us.  They ranged from what were our thoughts on diet and vitamins to exercise to providing him with a college education.  She asked us our thoughts on discipline, how were we disciplined, how would our extended family feel about a child of a different race to what was our favorite child hood memory to holiday traditions.  She asked us what are thoughts were about the importance of mental health and what are worse memories were.  We were amazed at all the time and thought she put into her questions.  We were amazed at her strength.  She had spent so much time putting these questions together to make this choice.  I thought well, of course she would, she would be deciding who would raise her child. 

She had finished her questions after about three hours.  We had not one.  I think we were stunned.  We just asked her if there was anything else she wanted to know.  She said she only wanted to ask us about religion but that I had already answered that the night before.  What she didn’t know was that I had brought my bible with me to give to her.  I had prayed the night before and felt like if anyone in the world could use some God it was her.  So, I told her no matter what her choice, I wanted her to have this Book and she took it saying thanks. 

My husband and I left that meeting better people for meeting her.  We learned things about each other that after all these years we didn’t know and we learned things about ourselves.  We have been praying a lot through the process, but we just became acutely aware of all the things we take for granted and how selfish we can be, it’s easy to see when you meet someone like her. 

What I wanted to share was that we had learned that she was torn between us and the other couple.  We were so similar.  Well, the night before, when she called to move up our meeting, the night she was upset, I asked her if she were a spiritual person and she said yes, and I was nervous tossing that out there because it could have been a deal breaker for all I knew.  But I just didn’t care and I told her that I was praying for her and that He had a plan and regardless of her choice she would be OK.  I don’t tell you this to sound preachy.  I meant it. I mean it. And I wanted to share to you what happened to us later that night.

She called us and told us she picked us to be the parents of her child.  She told me it was the toughest decision of her life, but what she knew it was right.  The reason for her decision was that she wanted her son to know God.  I cannot even begin to express the feelings, nor can my husband, that this statement placed in us-the sense of honor and responsibility. 

There were tears and they were of joy and sadness.  It was and is one of the most beautiful experiences of my/our life and I just wanted to pass along that God just continues to blow my mind.  We continue to pray for her and we always will.  Her life will be harder than most I know, this will be hard on her but she is strong and she will prevail. 

Things can always change, at any moment, with an adoption like this, until everything becomes legal.  I am comforted because I believe what will be, will be.  As comforted as one can be during such an amazing and emotional experience. 

I am sure there will be more posts on this topic f adoption, but this one is all about her and us and appreciation for even being able to drive out of my cul-de-sac and to be able to dream of walking through the aisles of a Target to get random “Bad Target” things…to be able to get pissed about being stuck in traffic so that I can get to my Yoga or Massage or dinner with friends.  This is about being grateful, humble and thankful for a reminder of how lucky we are.  How so very lucky and blessed we all are. I hope you are too and that you are aware. 

E