Bubble Kids

We cannot deny that our children our in a bubble.  I suspect that these suburbian bubble babies are everywhere in the county, however, I can only speak to the ones out here in my Suburbia…our Short Pump kids.  You can spot our kids by their floppy hair, most of it blonde, their sandals, Crocs, Uggs, Asics…their footwear dollar worth equivalent to an inner city kids month worth of meals. 

They are self indulgent, poorly manner, entitled, rude at times, hooked to their DS, DSI, DVD flipped down in the car, Ipod, PSP and TV.  Their idea of life is found on Disney channels Suite Life of Zach and Cody or High School Musical or Finneaus and Ferb or ICarly or Hanna Montana.  They are wearing Polo, Abercrombie, Lilly or anything from Nordstrom’s. 

They lack a real vision of life outside of their Short Pump bubble.  They do not understand money, the value of self, the image outside of their mother or father is a (fill in the blank) identity.  I will focus on the tweens for this particular rant…those 7-12 years of age. This is the age cell where my two oldest fall and therefore the reason for my concern about what will become of them.

So, who can I blame?  Can I blame the public school system that my two children are new to this year?  Can I blame the fact that I feel like a jerk because I missed attending the social studies parade held at 8am on a Tuesday even though I have not missed any of the other 15 parties/plays/enrichment programs held for my first grader? Can I blame TV?  Can I blame the junk food that they “never eat”?  Can I blame society today in general? Can I blame that both my husband and I are career oriented and so they have sitters and daycare?

No!  It is us. It is me.  The parents are to blame.  Or the parenting…I was talking with a friend whose children go to school out here in the Pump.  They are not in the same place as mine, but it is the same general area.  We both expressed our own concern, our own fears for the future of our young children.  Will we let this get away from us further and sit by just giving our kids everything they want whether it is the pack of gum in Target so they will sit through our own self indulgent, meaningless shopping spree or the DSI that all the other 9 year olds have.  I mean God forbid our children don’t have what the other kids have. 

But it’s true; we feel this pressure to make our children’s lives easy…because the world is so bad.  But wait.  What will our kids be prepared to do when the “perfect” world crumbles?  When something pops their bubble…because it will.  The world is not perfect and things happen, people lose jobs, die, get sick, have affairs, lie.  We are not perfect and it is OK!  Well, I mean I am not saying go sleep around, lie, steal or lose your job…what I am saying is that we are not perfect and our children are not perfect and we just need to all start being real. 

I think a big part of this problem is that people and I really feel it out here, are afraid to be anything but what everyone else is…we don’t want to stand out.  We lack individuality, uniqueness and we don’t want our kids to stand out. 

Soccer is big out here.  Everyone has their Columbia gear, their special portable side line chairs, their water bottles BPA free.  Ya know, when we first moved back here we would just break out our beach chairs.  They were old and had that scratchy vinyl backing.  We also had two Sponge Bob chairs that the kids had written their names on in pen.  We would slop these around.  Then one day, as I sat in my jeans in the 80 degree heat, I realized that I stood out.  That people might think we were poor, or less of a person because I did not go to Dicks and get the matching chairs.  I have those stupid chairs now and they match everyone else’s and it feels easier to go to the games.  I still wear my jeans and I still get stares more due to my youngest son who is African American…he doesn’t really match my two blondes running through the Fields.  He doesn’t fit into their vision of the Short Pump snapfish black and white family photo hanging in their foyer. 

Ok, so you get the picture.  What do we do?  Well, I have talked with a number of people who share this concern.  I declared this summer a TV free summer and my daughter cried and deep down I doubt I will be able to keep the convenience of TV off.  We discussed moving into the country where we would gladly trade down in SOL scores so that our children experience diversity.  Where they will know country folks, black folks, kids with varying social economic backgrounds and maybe have a bigger view of life. 

But do we just give up and move?  I don’t have the answers.  I know that we need to talk with our kids about this topic.  I will let you know how that goes.  My friend and I did agree that a hands-on approach may be the best route.  Take them to places to volunteer.  I guess they could watch the news…that is always good and depressing.

For right now, I have vowed to not give in.  I am not going to buy them everything they want just because I can and just because they made honor roll…I mean should they all get trophies because they made it through a season of soccer?  Are they really all MVP?  NO!

Someone should be the best, someone should be the most improved and someone should lose.  That is life…right?

E

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